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Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?
One to get in and one to get out.

I was in the zoo last week.
Really? Which cage were you in?

I took my son to the zoo yesterday.
Really, did they accept him?

Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, "Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?"
"Yes," replied Dracula, "have lots of giraffes."

Come on, Fred, I'll take you to the zoo.
If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!

Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when she got home.
"Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to a dead zoo."

Fred was definitely more than a bit dumb; when his pal asked him how he had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied, "it was a total con! I saw a sign that said To The Monkeys, so I followed it and saw the monkeys. Then I saw another sign that said To The Bears, so I followed that and saw the rbears. But when I followed a sign that said To the Exit, I found myself out on the street."