Home - W - Wood Jokes

He's got a chip on his shoulder.
It's probably from the block of wood above.

Fred: You're like uncultivated woodland.
Harry: Really?
Fred: Yes, totally dense.

Who was that at the door?
A man with a wooden leg. Tell him to hop it.

What goes ninety nine clonk, ninety nine clonk?
A centipede with a wooden leg.

Dracula: Have you seen the new monster from Poland?
Frankenstein: A Pole?
Dracula: Yes - you can tell from his wooden expression.

Did you hear about the girl who got engaged to a chap and then found out he had a wooden leg?
She broke it off, of course...