Home - W - Witch Jokes

What has handles and flies?
A witch in a garbage can.

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

Why did the witch wear a green felt pointed hat?
So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen.

How do witches tell the time?
By looking at their witch watches.

What do you call a witch who climbs up walls?
Ivy.

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?
The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

What do you call a witch with one leg?
Eileen.

What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch?
A witch in soggy trainers.

What goes cackle, cackle, boom?
A witch in a minefield.

Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?
Because she thought everybody loved her.

Why won't a witch wear a flat cap? B
ecause there's no point in it.

What do you call a witch that stays out all night?
Afresh air freak.

Why did the witch consult an astrologer?
She wanted to know her horrorscope.

How can you make a witch itch?
Take away her "W."

What does a witch enjoy cooking most?
Gnomelettes.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch witch would you like it to be?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Gus.
Gus who?
Gus what! There's a witch in the ditch!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Eunice.
Eunice who?
Eunice is a witch - I thought you should know.

What did the young witch say to her mother?
Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?