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The psychiatrist was surprised to see a tortoise come into his office. "What can I do for you, Mr Tortoise?" asked the psychiatrist.
"I'm terribly shy, doctor," said the tortoise. "I want you to cure me of that."
"No problem. I'll soon have you out of your shell."

A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?"

So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned.
"I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts."

And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."