Home - T - Teacher Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Teacher.
Teacher who?
Teacher-self French.

Confucius he say: If teacher ask you question and you not know answer, mumble.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who had no control over her pupils?

Did you hear about the teacher who married the dairy maid?
It didn't last. They were like chalk and cheese.

Why did the soccer teacher give his team lighters?
Because they kept losing all their matches.

It was sweltering hot outside. The teacher came into the classroom wiping his brow and said, "Ninety-two today. Ninety-two."
"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you . . ." sang the class.

Fred: Our teacher gives me the pip.
Harry: What's her name?
Fred: Miss Lemmon.

What do you call a teacher floating on a raft in the sea?
Bob.

What's your handicrafts teacher like?
She's a sew and sew.

What do you get if you cross your least favorite teacher with a telescope?
A horrorscope.

Fred's teacher regards Ben as a wonder child. He wonders whether he'll ever learn anything.

Mother: Why do you call your teacher "Treasure"?
Girl: Because we wonder where she was dug up.

"Do you know," said the teacher to one of her pupils who had BO,
"that we call you the wonder child in the staff room?"
"Why's that, ma'am?"
"Because we all wonder when you're going to wash!"

What did the little boy say when his teacher said, This caning is going to hurt me more than it will you'?

'Can I cane you, then, sir?'