Home - S - Stealing Jokes

Why did the firefly keep stealing things?
He was light fingered.

Mom and Dad are in the iron and steel business.
She does the ironing and he does the stealing.

Why did you leave your last employment?
The boss accused me of stealing a ten dollar bill. But why didn't you make him prove it?
He did.

I'm learning to steal pets - a cat burglar is teaching me how.

Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom. Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner. Inside the store the two came face to face. "Where have you been?" demanded the worried look out. "The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn't find the soap and a towel."