Home - S - Spider Jokes

Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet
Eating a bowl of stew
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her.
Guess what? She ate him up too!

What did the spiders say to the fly?
We're getting married. Do you want to come to the webbing?

Why do spiders enjoy swimming?
They have webbed feet.

Why are spiders like tops?
They're always spinning.

Where do spiders go for fun?
To Webley.

What kind of doctors are spiders like?
Spin doctors.

What do you call a hundred spiders on a tyre?
A spinning wheel.

Two spiders were sitting on a web. One of them said, "See that fly up there. He's never flown before." The other one said, "What's that got to do with you?" The first one said, "I'm trying to talk him down."

What did the "just married" spiders call their new home?
Newlywebs.

Waiter, waiter! There's a spider in my soup.
It's hardly deep enough to drown him sir.