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What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen?
A viper.

What do you get if you cross a serpent and a trumpet?
A snake in the brass.

What's green and slimy and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.

What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.

What is a snake's favorite dance?
Snake, rattle and roll.

What do you get if you cross a snake with a pig?
A boar constrictor.

What did one snake say to another?
Hiss off!

What did the snake say to the cornered rat?
Hiss is the end of the line, buddy!"

What did one snake say when the other snake asked him the time?
Don't asp me!

What would you get if you crossed a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.

There once was a snake named Drake
Who started a fight with a rake
It cut off his tail
Drake went very pale
And that's the short end of my tale.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed its skin.
Just slip into something more comfortable.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Snake.
Snake who?
Snake a run for it!

First person: I've just been bitten by A snake on one arm.
Second person: Which one?
First person: I don't know, one snake looks very much like the next one.

How can you tell a baby snake?
By its rattle.