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What school subject are snakes best at?
Hiss-tory.

Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear?
Jane: Yes. And we're going again tomorrow.
Mother: Really? Why's that? Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.

Teacher: You weren't at school last Friday, Robert. I heard you were at the movie theater.
Robert: That's not true, sir. And I've got the tickets from the football game to prove it.

"I hope you're not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock," said the principal to a new boy. "No, Sir. I've got a digital watch that bleeps at half past three."

Why do vampires like school lunches?
Because they know they won't get stake.

When I was at school I was as smart as the next fellow.
What a pity the next fellow was such an idiot.

My dad is a real jerk. I told him I needed an encyclopedia for school and he said I'd have to walk just like everyone else!

What should you do if you find a gorilla sitting at your school desk?
Sit somewhere else.

A school inspector was talking to a student. "How many teachers work in this school?" he asked. "Only about half of them, I reckon," replied the student.

Why is school like a shower?
One wrong turn and you're in hot water.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ida.
Ida who?
Ida nawful time at school today.

Mother: What did you learn at school today?
Son: Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.

What did you learn in school today, son?
I learned that those sums you did for me were wrong!