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What does a queen do when she burps?
She issues a royal pardon.

A boastful American from Texas was being shown the sights of London by a taxi-driver.
"What's that building there?" asked the Texan.
"That's the Tower of London, sir," replied the taxi-driver.
"Say, we can put up buildings like that in two weeks," drawled the Texan.
A little while later he said, "And what's that building we're passing now?"
"That's Buckingham Palace, sir, where the Queen lives."
"Is that so?" said the Texan. "Do you know back in Texas we could put a place like that up in a week?"
A few minutes later they were passing Westminster Abbey. The American asked again,
"Hey cabbie, what's that building over there?"
"I'm afraid I don't know, sir," replied the taxi-driver.
"It wasn't there this morning."

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