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"I have decided to abolish all corporal punishment at this school," said the principal at morning assembly. "That means that there will be no physical punishment."
"Does that mean that we don't have to eat school meals any more, sir?"

Fred: Would you punish someone for something they haven't done?
Teacher: Of course not.
Fred: Oh good, because I haven't done my homework.

Mother: Why are you spanking Fred ?
Father: Because his school report is due tomorrow and I won't to be here.