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What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?
He said, "Darling, you've got lovely teeth."

Why was the piano player arrested?
Because he got into treble.

Do you think, Professor, that my wife should take up the piano as a career?
No, I think she should put down the lid as a favor.

What do you call an ant who can't play the piano?
Discord-ant.

Waiter, waiter, does the pianist play requests?
Yes, sir. Then ask him to play tiddlywinks until I've finished my meal.