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Did you hear about the Irishman who hijacked a submarine?
He demanded a million dollars and a parachute.

A pilot flying over the jungle was having trouble with his plane and decided to bail out before it crashed. So he put on his parachute, jumped, pulled the rip-cord, and drifted gently down to land. Unfortunately, he landed right in a large cooking pot which a tribal chief was simmering gently over a fire. The chief looked at him, rubbed his eyes, looked again, and asked,
"What's this flier doing in my soup?"