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When is the water in the shower room musical?
When it's piping hot.

Why is a pupil learning to sing like someone opening a tin of sardines?
Because they both have trouble with the key.

So you want to play the banjo?
Why pick on that . . . ?

Why don't skeletons play music in church?
They have no organs.

The music teacher could not control her class. A deafening noise always came from her room. One day when it was worse than usual the science teacher could bear it no longer. She ran into the music room where she found the music teacher sitting at her piano and the boys and girls raising Cain. "Do you know my students can't concentrate for the din in here?" the science teacher said. "No!" said the music teacher, "but if you hum it I'll try and follow."

Piano Tuner: I've come to tune the piano.
Music Teacher: But we didn't send for you.
Piano Tuner: No, but the people who live across the street did.

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?
Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

Henry: I'd like to learn to play a drum, Sir.
Music Teacher: Beat it!

What is musical and handy in the supermarket.
A Chopin Lizst.

What musical instrument never tells the truth?
A lyre.

Why did they arrest the musician?
He got into treble.

Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson?
Because he'd already done the sharps and flats.

What's musical and holds gallons and gallons of beer?
A barrel organ.