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Fred was ordering a meal in a restaurant and was horrified to see that the waiter was covered with pimples.
"Have you got acne?" he asked. "No," replied the waiter, "just what you can see on the menu."

At a restaurant which prided itself on its wide selection of dishes, a customer was inspecting the menu.
"You'll find, sir," said the waiter proudly, "that everything is on the menu. Absolutely everything!" "Yes, so I see," said the customer tartly, "so take it back and bring me a clean one!"