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A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said, "You're soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit." The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said "You're slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a math teacher."

Did you hear about the math teacher who fainted in class?
Everyone tried to bring her 2.

What's black and white and horrible?
A math examination paper.

In the summer vacation the math teacher collected information for a national opinion poll. But after a week she was fired. Her vital statistics were wrong.

Teacher: Fred, can you tell me what aftermath means?
Fred: Yes, sir! The lesson that follows arithmetic.

The math teacher and the English teacher went out for a quick pizza after school.
"How long will the pizzas be?" asked the math teacher.
"Sorry, sir," replied the waiter, "we don't do long pizzas, just ordinary round ones."

Girl: Mom, you know you're always worried about me failing math?
Mother: Yes.
Girl: Well, your worries are over.

"Fred," said the weary math teacher, "if you had seven dollars in your pocket, and seven dollars in another pocket, what would you have?"
"Someone else's trousers!"

Mother: Do you know a girl named Betty Jones?
Daughter: Yes, she sleeps next to me in math.

Which sea creature can add up?
An octoplus.