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Fred keeps telling everyone he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.
What a shame - and after all the time you've been engaged!

"In some countries," said the geography teacher, "men are allowed more than one wife. That's called polygamy. In others, women are allowed more than one husband. That's called polyandry. In this country, men and women are allowed only one married partner. Can anyone tell me what that's called?" "Monotony, sir!"

Why did the science teacher marry the school cleaner?
Because she swept him off his feet.