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What do you call a python with a great bedside manner?
A snake charmer.

How can you tell you are talking to an undertaker?
By his grave manner.

Young Fred was having supper with his Gran.
"Would you like a cookie?" she asked.
"Yes, please," replied Fred.
"What good manners you have," said his Gran.
"I do like to hear young people say 'please' and 'thank you'."
"I'll say them both if I can have a big slice of that cake," replied Fred.