Home - L - Lid Jokes

How can you tell if a corpse is angry?
It flips its lid.

How can you tell if a vampire's been at the tomato juice?
There are teeth marks on the lid.

A huge hairy monster went to the doctor to ask for help because he was becoming very weak. The doctor prescribed some pills and a tonic to build him up. A few days later the monster went back to the surgery. "Are you feeling stronger?" asked the doctor. "No," said the monster. "The medicine isn't working - you see, I can't get the lids off the bottles!"

If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and died, what would they put on his coffin?
A lid.