Home - L - Leg Jokes

Why are snake's hard to fool?
They have no leg to pull.

What has a bottom at its top?
A leg.

What happened when the werewolf chewed a bone for an hour?
When he got up he only had three legs.

First cannibal: Come and have dinner in our but tonight.
Second cannibal: What are you having?
First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition?
She was beaten by the microphone stand.

What do you call a witch with one leg?
Eileen.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Thumping.
Thumping who?
Thumping green and slimy is creeping up your leg.

Doctor, I've just been bitten on the leg by a werewolf.
Did you put anything on it?
No, he seemed to like it as it was.

What has fifty legs but can't walk?
Half a centipede.

My uncle must be the meanest man in the world. He recently found a crutch - then he broke his leg so he could use it.

What is green and sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
Chimney Cricket.

What do you call a guard with a hundred legs?
A sentrypede.

What happened to the skeleton that was attacked by a dog?
It ran off with some bones and left him without a leg to stand on.

I can't understand why people say my girlfriend's legs look like matchsticks.
They do look like sticks - but they certainly don't match.

Dad, when I get old will the calves of my legs be cows... ?