“Everybody in my family follows the medical profession,” said John. “They’re all lawyers.”

Did you hear about the lawyer hurt in an accident?

An ambulance stopped suddenly.

Two lawyers met at a cocktail party.

“How’s business?” asked the first.

“Rotten,” replied the other. “Yesterday, I chased an ambulance for twenty miles. When I finally caught up to it, there was already another lawyer hanging on to the bumper.”

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

“All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.”

The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble Space Telescope photograph of distant galaxies colliding.

Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.

Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.