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What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A lawn miaower.

Two men were out walking together, when they saw a truck pass by laden with grassy sods of earth for the laying of a lawn.
"Do you know, Mick," said one of them to the other, "if I ever get rich that's what I'll have done - send away my lawn to be cut."

What did the gardener say when he saw his idiot assistant laying the lawn at a new house?
Green on top!