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Who is the king of all the mice?
Mouse Ise Tung.

Who is the smelliest, hairiest monarch in the world?
King Pong.

The cannibal king was having dinner when a servant came running in.
"Your Majesty," he said, "the slaves are revolting!"
"You don't have to tell me," said the king. "I'm trying to eat them.
"Where did we get these slaves anyway?"
"From the country next door," replied the servant.
"We must get a new butcher," said the king. "Bring me Delia Smith."
"We can't, Your Majesty, she's still cooking for you."
"Well, bring her to me once she's crispy enough," said the king.