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Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test?
Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.

Fred: Where does the new kid come from?
Harry: Alaska.
Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her myself.

A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. "Hey kid," he shouted. "Why don't you go outside and play?"