Home - J - Jump Jokes

Can the Abominable Snowman jump very high?
Hardly - he can only just clear his throat!

Why did the wizard jump off the top of the Empire State Building?
He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.

Did you hear about the man who jumped in the Hudson River?
He committed sewercide.

Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn't jump out of the plane?
He had no guts.

What do you do if you see a skeleton running across the road?
Jump out of your skin and join him.

Why did the monster jump up and down?
Because he'd just taken his medicine and he'd forgotten to shake the bottle.

The plane was circling at 5,000 meters and the Killarney Green Berets paratroop squad were about to make their first jump.
"Hold everything!" shouted the commanding officer.
"You're not wearing your parachute, O'Leary."
"It's all right, sir," replied O'Leary.
"Sure, it's only a practice jump we're doing."