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Two boys were walking through a churchyard one dark and stormy night. As one stopped to do up his shoelaces they heard an eerie voice coming from behind one of the tombs saying
"Now that I've got you, I'm going to eat your legs first, then your arms, then you head and finally I'll gulp down your body."
Terrified, the boys ran for the exit but before they could get out of the gate a figure in black loomed before them.
"I thought I heard someone," said the minister, "would you boys like a jelly baby?"

Jimmy was caught by his mother in the pantry.
"And what do you think you're up to?" she asked furiously.
"I'm up to my seventh jelly tart," said Jimmy.

What's red and dangerous?
Raspberry and tarantula jelly.