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There's a large crack in the sitting room of Jimmy's house so he goes around telling everyone that he's from a broken home.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Alistair.
Alistair who?
Alistairs in this house creak really spookily.

A stupid man was struggling out of his house with a big table. His neighbor said to him, "Hello, Harry. Where are you going with that then?" And Harry replied, "I'm taking it to the store to have it measured for a new tablecloth."

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