Home - H - Head Jokes

Why was the monster standing on his head?
He was turning things over in his mind.

What does the school principal and a bullfrog have in common?
Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.

I feel sorry for your little mind - all alone in that great big head.

Did you hear about the headless horseman who got a job in a department store?
He's the head buyer.

Doctor, doctor, I need to lose 30 pounds of excess flab.
Doctor: All right, I'll cut your head off.

Doctor, I've got a head like a turnip, three ears, two noses and a mouth the wrong way round. What am I?
Doctor: Ugly.

How does your head feel today?
As good as new.
It should be as good as new - it's never been used.

When you leave school, you should become a bone specialist.
You've certainly got the head for it.

What did the two acrobats say when they got married?
We're head over heels in love!

Why does a witch wear a pointed black hat?
To keep her head warm.

Every time I take my girlfriend out for a meal she eats her head off. She looks better that way.