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When the picture of the vampire's grandfather crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean?
That the nail had come out of the wall.

Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandpa like I told you to?
Yes Mom.
Your handwriting seems very large.
Well, Grandpa's very deaf, so I'm writing very loudly.

How old is your Grandad?
I dunno, but we've had him a long time.

Boy: Grandad, do you know how to croak.
Grandad: No, I don't think so. Why?
Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do.