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What do you call a lady who likes gambling ?
Little Tommy was the quietest boy in school. He never answered any questions but his homework was always quite excellent. If any one said anything to him he would simply nod, or shake his head. The staff thought he was shy and decided to do something to give him confidence.
"Tommy," said his teacher. "I've just bet Miss Smith $5 I can get you to say three words. You can have half."
Tommy looked at her pityingly and said, "You lose."
"I want you to help me stop my son gambling," an anxious father said to his boy's principal.
"I don't know where he gets it from but it's bet, bet, bet."
"Leave it to me," said the principal. A week later he phoned the boy's father. "I think I've cured him," he said.
"Well, I saw him looking at my beard and he said,
'I bet that's a false beard.'
'How much?' I said, and he said
"What happened?" asked the father.
"Well, he tugged my beard, which is quite natural, and I made him give me $5. I'm sure that'll teach him a lesson."
"No, it won't," said the father. "He bet me $10 this morning that he'd pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week!"
Two friends, Smith and Jones, went together to play the slot
machines at the casino. Each agreed that when his allotted
money was gone, he would go to the front of the casino and
sit on the bench to wait for his friend.
Jones quickly lost all of his money and went to sit on the
bench. He waited and waited and waited and waited. After
what seemed an eternity, he saw Smith coming toward him
carrying a huge sack of coins.
"Hey, Jones," said Smith, "how'd you do?"
"Well, Smith", said Jones, "you see me here on this bench-
what do you think? It looks like you hit it big, though."
"Oh yeah," said Smith, "did I find a good machine! It's way
in the back. I'll show it to you-you can't lose! EVERY TIME
YOU PUT IN A DOLLAR FOUR QUARTERS COME OUT!!!"