Home - F - Fly Jokes

How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?
Put a bucket of manure in the lounge.

Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her.

Why did the robin fly into the library?
It was looking for bookworms.

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my custard.
I'll fetch him a spoon sir.

How do you make a moth bawl?
Hit him with a fly swatter.

Can bees fly in the rain?
Not without their little yellow jackets.

What is big, hairy and can fly faster than sound.
King Koncord.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fly.
Fly who?
Fly away soon.

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
Yes, sir, he's committed insecticide.

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup.
Not fussy what they eat are they sir?

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Just a minute sir, I'll get the fly spray.

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my starter. Get rid of it would you?
I can't do that, sir, he hasn't had his main course yet.

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup.
Go ahead and eat him. There are plenty more where he came from.

Sir, you haven't touched your custard.
No, I'm waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampolene.

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
Just wait until you see the main course.

Waiter, waiter! Did you know there is a fly in my soup?
That's not a fly sir, it's just dirt in the shape of a fly.

Waiter, waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?
I think it's drowning sir.

The wizard who had invented a flying carpet was interviewed for a local radio station. "What's it like, Merlin, to fly on a magic carpet?" asked the radio presenter. "Rugged," replied Merlin.

Waiter, waiter! What is this fly doing in the alphabet soup?
Learning to spell.