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What does a polite cannibal say when he meets you for the first time?
Pleased to eat you!
If you fall into a pond what is the first thing that you do ?
What is the first thing a lawyer does in the morning?
He wakes up.
What happened when the young wizard met the young witch?
It was love at first fright.
The games teacher had broken off her engagement. The science teacher asked her what had happened. "I thought it was love at first sight," said the science teacher. "It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind."
Fred: Who was the fastest runner in history?
Harry: Adam. He was first in the human race.
What's the first thing a ghost does when it gets into the front seat of a car?
Fasten the sheet belt.
Two men were arranging to meet. "If I get there first I'll put a chalk cross on the wall, Paddy." "Right you are Mick," said Paddy. "And if I get there first, I'll rub it off.
"I just want you to remember one thing, Boyce," said the managing director to the new sales manager. "If at first you don't succeed you're fired!"
My sister fell in love at second sight.
When she first met him she didn't know how rich he was.