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What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out.

There once was a snake named Drake
Who started a fight with a rake.
It cut off his tail
Drake went very pale
And that's the short end of my tale.

Boy: Dad, dad, come out. My sister's fighting this ten-foot gargoyle with three heads.

Dad: No, I'm not coming out. He's going to have to learn to look after himself.

Mom: Fred, you've been fighting again. You've lost your front teeth!
Fred: No I haven't, Mom. They're in my pocket.

There was a fight in the restauarant last night - a whole lot of fish got battered!

Fred, you've been fighting again, haven't you?

Yes, Mom.

You must try to control your temper. Didn't I tell you to count to ten?

Yes, but Harry's Mom only told him to count up to five, so he hit me first!

I hear she was a war baby. I'm not surprised ?
I expect her parents took one look at her and started fighting.