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What was proved when the fat man was run over by a steamroller ?
That he had a lot of guts.

What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a pound of lard?
One's a fat lot of good and the other's a good lot of fat!

A fat witch who lived on the Rhine
Was asked at what hour she would dine.
She said, "At seven,
And half past eleven,
With a snack at a quarter to nine."

Did you hear about the two fat men who ran in the New York Marathon?
One ran in short bursts, the other in burst shorts!

What did the speak-your-weight machine say when the fat lady stepped on?
One at a time, please.