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Did you hear about the farmer you ploughed his field with a steamroller ?
He wanted to grow mash potatoes !

How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.

What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?
You take me for grunted.

"Why did you come back early from your holidays?" one of Alec's friends asked him.
"Well, on the first day we were there one of the chickens died and that night we had chicken soup. The next day one of the pigs died and we had pork chops...
"But why did you come back?" "Well, on the third day the farmer's father-in-law died. What would you have done?"