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Which animals do you have to beware of when you take exams?
Cheetahs.

A teacher was correcting exam papers when he came across Simon's effort: a sheet of paper, blank apart from his name and Act II Macbeth. Scene V. Line 28. The teacher reached for his Shakespeare and turned to Macbeth where he found that the 28th line of the fifth scene of the second act read, "I cannot do this bloody thing."

Student: Excuse me, sir, but I don't think I deserve a mark of 0 for this exam paper. Teacher: Neither do I, but it's the lowest mark I can give.

Teacher: In this exam you will be allowed ten minutes for each question.
Boy: How long is the answer?

Why did the flea fail his exams?
He wasn't up to scratch.

Why did the skeleton schoolgirl stay late at school?
She was boning up for her exams.

Father: All our bills have gone up this quarter - gas, telephone, food. Why doesn't anything ever go down!
Son: Dad, I got my exam results today...