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An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had $1,000,000. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. "Alec!" yelled the teacher. "You've done nothing. Why?" "'Cos if I had $1,000,000 that's exactly what I would do."

When Dad came home he was astonished to see Harry sitting on a horse, writing something. "What on earth are you doing there?" he asked. "Well, teacher told us to write an essay on our favorite animal. That's why I'm here and that's why Fred's sitting on the goldfish bowl!"

The class was set an essay on Shakespeare. Jacqui wrote in her book: Shakespeare wrote tragedy, comedy, and errors.
Teacher: Colin, one of your essays is very good but the other one I can't read.
Colin: Yes, sir. My mother is a much better writer than my father.