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These are some signs that lead to the fact that someone's been using your e-mail account...

- "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?"

- One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is slapping cuffs on you.

- Apparently, your flame war with DonCorleone@mafia.com is about to turn ugly.

- When you log on, your computer says, "You've got lawsuits!"

- Your inbox is filled with dog porno and you're strictly a sheep porno kind of guy. :-)

- Sotheby's says the Rembrandt is yours and that you now owe them $71,000,000 and change

. - "The resistance welcomes your involvement. Your contact information has been forwarded to a local insurgent who will bring supplies and reinforcements to you immediately."

- Your wife calls you at the office to report that Pogdi, your Pakistani mail-order bride, has arrived.

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