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A man went into a diner and ordered a drink. He tasted it, pulled a face and called the waiter over. "Is this tea or coffee?" he asked. "It's disgusting ? it tastes like disinfectant." "In that case it's tea," said the waiter. "Our coffee tastes like soap."

Why do wizards drink tea?
Because sorcerers need cuppas

Uncle Harry noticed that his nephew Fred was watching him the whole time. "Why are you always looking at me?" he asked. "I was just wondering when you were going to do your trick," replied Fred. "What trick?" enquired Uncle Harry. "Well, Mom and Dad say you drink like a fish."

Why did the monster drink ten liters of anti-freeze?
So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.