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Why are school cooks cruel?
Because they batter fish and beat eggs.

A cannibal caught a missionary in the jungle. "Now how shall I cook you?" said the cannibal, "Are you best roasted or grilled?"
"To tell you the truth," replied the missionary, "I'm a friar."

Boy to Mother: Our school cook really knows her new technology as well as her history. For school lunch today we had micro chips with ancient grease.

Betty: I'll cook dinner. What would you like?
Fred: Good life insurance.