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Home - C - Clinton Jokes - Clinton limericks

The President swore to the sky
He'd never asked someone to lie
But the chance was then missed
To request that he list
Positions he'd told them to try.

There once was a young prez named Billy
Who had much too much fun with his willy
It was Monica's tongue
that started the fun
Now the last act is all up to Hillary.

A sneaky informant named Tripp
Provided her fans with this tip:
"Hot scandals may hover
Behind a case cover
And other things men can unzip."

A D.A. who'd just passed the bar
Told Monica, "Come as you are.
There's no need to dress.
We don't want to mess
With evidence you can show Starr."

A right-wing spin doctor who's spun
Lurid tales about Monica's fun
Exclaimed when his eyes
Saw the fruit of his lies
"We've gotten O.J. off Page One!"

The President having seen action
Thought he'd had full satisfaction
Then the news of the day
And an urge made him say,
"I want to retract my retraction."

They wanted to put Bill in jail
For using his house to chase tail
But the judge wasn't fooled
Saw no crime so he ruled:
"Not guilty! He didn't inhale."

Said a President thought to give pecks
To areas other than necks
"Although it's most sultry
it isn't adult'ry
I'm not even sure that it's sex."

They set up a partisan sting
About Clinton's adulterous fling
It's the economy, stupid!
So forget about cupid
But the media know sex is king.

They said it was the worst of slimes.
He said, "It is the best of times.
The economy is up.
I've got myself a new pup.
Have I committed some crimes?"

She egged him on with her charms,
And wriggled right into his arms.
She promised him bliss
With her first little kiss
Then Linda Tripped the alarms.

The country, when asked about Bill,
Said, We'd rather pick one who will
Be true to his mate
Not create Zippergate
But who is like that on the Hill?

An intern not yet twenty-six
Found she could work wonders with dicks
Though she had no spouse
She found the White House
A place to perform all her tricks.

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