Home - C - Clinton Jokes - One Liners

First man: I can't believe Hillary has kept her mouth shut
during all this.
Second man: That may well be the problem.

Q: What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up?
A: "Good morning, Bill."

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh?
A: Some people still believe in David Koresh.

WHY DOES BILL CLINTON WEAR UNDERWEAR?
To keep his ankles warm.

Q: What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America?
A: "Heck no, I'm not letting my wife run the country."

Paula Jones (at her deposition): It was hideous, crooked, deformed, very stiff.
Judge: Enough about Al Gore. Now would you please Answer the Question about the distinguishing characteristics!

Unfortunately we have a President here who spells his morality without the first letter.

Q: Why won't there be a White House Christmas pageant this year?
A: They can't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q: How does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?
A: He doesn't. He whines a while, says "I feel your pain," gets Congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.

He's a CONGENITAL liar - a term made up from the two things he seems to do best.