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Home - C - Clinton Jokes - Clinton's Fan Mail
Dear Bill:
As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your
predicament. Although when I was president I merely lusted in my
heart, I have to admit that had I served another term, my lust
might have broken free and moved down my body.
God bless you in this time of trial.
Jimmy Carter
Dear Bill:
OK, so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a
fox. What's more, I want to say this to the American People.
Unlike you I HAD a relationship with that woman!
Gary Hart
My Dear Chap:
This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask
that charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his
show, admit that you made an ass of yourself and all will be
forgiven.
Hugh Grant
Bill:
They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with
drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you!
Mayor Marion Barry
Dear Mr. President:
You may have noticed that I'm not jumping on the impeachment
bandwagon. This is a way of showing my gratitude for creating the
greatest pick-up line in years, namely that oral copulation
doesn't constitute sex. Just today I have already used it
successfully four times and it's not even 10 am yet.
Warm personal regards,
Newt
Dear Mr. President:
Now I'm on the Supreme Court. I'm here for life! And there's
nothing anyone can do about it!
So there!
Justice Clarence Thomas
Dear Former Worthy Opponent:
Whoo, Boy! All I can say is, Bob Dole would never have gotten
himself into this mess. Not Bob Dole! Not before Viagra,
anyway!
Bob Dole
Dear Mr. President:
I think it's terrible what they are doing to you, and I want you
to know that if you need to get away from it all, you're welcome
to bring Buddy and stay with me on my Wonderland Ranch for as
long as you want. I'll move the Cub Scout Pack to a tent on the
lawn and you can have their room.
Michael Jackson
Dear Bill:
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Jim Bakker
P.S. Jessica sends regards and wants to get together with you
sometime.
Dear Bill:
Next time (if there is a next time), don't let them get you on
tape. Big mistake!!
With sympathy,
Rob Lowe
Dear Bill:
I know things look bad for you now but take it from me - the
American public is very forgiving and one day it will all be just
water under the bridge.
Regards,
Senator Edward Kennedy
Dear Bill:
Things were grim for a while, but now it looks like I might
actually manage to marry my darling Camilla, and someday I'll be
King! Funny how life turns out. So keep a stiff upper lip!
(And relax everything else, haha! And they say I don't have a
sense of humor).
As we British say, keep your pecker up!
H.R.H. Charles Windsor,
Prince of Wales
Dear Mr. President,
We invite you to be the cover subject of our next issue.
Editor, Cigar Magazine
Dear Bill:
Congratulations on your election. You are a shining example to
us all. Could you and Hillary join us for dinner next Tuesday?
We plan to invite the Nixons and Agnews as well.
Sincerely,
Ronald Reagan
Dear Mr. President:
You have taken a big load off my mind. For a long time my
conscience had been bothering me but now I can honestly say that
I told the truth when I publicly stated that I had never
committed adultery. I am truly sorry that your liaisons with Ms.
Lewinsky have become such a political hot potatoe but you are
still my heroe.
Respectfully,
Senator Dan Quayle
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