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Home - C - Cat Jokes

What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and goes round and round for hours?
A cat in a tumble-drier.

A man out for a walk came across a little boy pulling his cat's tail.
"Hey, you!" he called. "Don't pull the cat's tail!"
"I'm not pulling!" replied the little boy. "I'm only holding on - the cat's doing the pulling!"

Why is a frog luckier than a cat?
Because a frog croaks all the time - a cat only croaks nine times.

What has six legs and flies?
An airkine pilot giving his cat a lift.

Why did the girl feed her cat with pennies?
She wanted to put them in the kitty.

What do you call a cat who never comes when she's called?
Im-puss-able.

What do you call a cat with no legs?
Anything you like - she won't be able to come anyway.

What do you call a cat who can spring from the ground to her mistress's hat in one leap?
A good jum-purr.

What do you call a witch's cat who can do spells as well as her mistress?
An ex-purr-t.

There once was a very strong cat
Who had a big fight with a bat;
The bat flew away
At the end of the day,
And the cat had a scrap with a rat.

What does a cat go to sleep on?
A caterpillar.

"Won't you let me live one of my own lives?" said the put-upon young cat to its parents.

How does a cat go down the highway?
M ee-oww-oww!

A guy went into a police station and put a dead cat on the counter. "Somebody threw this into my front yard," he complained.
"Okay, sir," said the officer. "You come back in six months and if no one's claimed it, you get to keep it.

First cat: Where do fleas go in winter?
Second cat: Search me!

What kind of cats love water?
Octopusses.

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