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What is large, yellow, lives in Scotland and has never been seen?
The Loch Ness Canary.

Donald: My canary died of flu.
Dora: I didn't know canaries got flu.
Donald: Mine flew into a car.

"May I have another slice of lemon?" a man asked the barmaid.
We don't have any lemons in this bar!
"Oh no!" said the man. "If that's true, I've just squeezed your canary into my gin and tonic!"