Home - B - Butcher Jokes

Why was the werewolf arrested in the butcher's shop?
He was choplifting.

The butcher's boy had been dismissed for insolence, and vowed vengeance on his ex-employer. The following Saturday morning, when the shop was packed with customers, he marched in, elbowed his way to the counter and slapped down one very, very dead cat. "There you are, boss!" he called out cheerily, "that makes up the dozen you ordered."

An angry woman went into the butcher's shop and snapped, "That meat you sold me was awful!"
"Why, ma'am, was it tough?" asked the butcher.
"Tough!" said the woman. "I should say it was. Why, I couldn't even get my fork into the gravy!"

Mr Butcher, have you got a sheep's head?
No, ma'am, it's just the way I part my hair.

Butcher: We had some lovely pork in today.
Wife: Don't start talking chop!

I'd like a nice piece of bacon. And make it lean.
Certainly madam, which way?

How much are your chickens?
A pound a pound.
Did you raise them yourself?
That's right. This morning they were 80p a pound.