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Home - B - Business Jokes

What business is King Kong in?
Monkey business.

Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty?
It's for people who can't swim!

Monster: Stick 'em down.
Ghost: Don't you mean, stick 'em up.
Monster: No wonder I'm not making much money in this business.

What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory?
You can hear a cough drop.

What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees?
If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!

How's your business coming along?
I'm looking for a new cashier. But you had a new one only last week!
That's the one I'm looking for.

What did the ruthless businessman tell his sales team?
If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!

On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said,

'I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof.'

Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof.

'Now,' said his father, 'when I say, "Jump," I want you to jump off the roof.'

'But, Dad,' said the boy, 'there's a huge drop!'

'Do you want to succeed in business?'

'Yes, Dad.'

'And you trust me, don't you?'

'Yes, Dad.'

'So do as I say and jump.'

The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him.

That was your first lesson in business, son.

Never trust anyone.'

There was once a high-powered businessman who insisted on taking his three secretaries everywhere with him - a tall one for writing longhand, a short one for taking down shorthand, and a very small one for adding footnotes.

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