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Home - B - Brother Jokes

Mother: What are you doing with that saw and where's your little brother?
Youngster: Hee, hee, he's my half-brother now.

A ghost was sitting in a haunted house all alone when another ghost came in. It said, "Hello, I'm your long lost brother." The first ghost said "Oooo?"

"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new term. "He's a conjurer, Ma'am," said the new boy. "How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" "He saws people in half." "Golly! Now next question. Any brothers and sisters?" "One half brother and two half sisters."

"Fred!" the teacher shouted one day at the girl who had been daydreaming. "If India has the world's second largest population, oranges are 50 cents for six, and it costs $3 for a day return to Austin, how old am I?" "Thirty two," replied Fred. "What makes you say that?" "Well, my brother's sixteen and he's half mad!"

My big brother is such an idiot. The other day I saw him hitting himself on the head with a hammer.
He was trying to make his head swell so his hat wouldn't fall over his eyes.

Did the bionic monster have a brother?
No, but he had lots of trans-sisters.

My brother's just opened a store.
Really? How's he doing?
Six months. He opened it with a crowbar.

My brother's one of the biggest stick-up men in town.
Gosh, is he really?
Yes, he's a six foot six bill-poster.

Little brother: Look, Sis, I've got a pack of cards.
Big sister: Big deal!

Fred: Why is your brother so small?
Harry: He's my half-brother.

My brother said he'd tell me everything he knows.
He must have been speechless.

Fred: My brother wants to work badly.
Harry: As I remember, he usually does.

My dad once stopped a man illtreating a donkey.
It was a case of brotherly love.

My brother's looking for a wife.
Trouble is, he can't find a woman who loves him as much as he loves himself.

Fred: My little brother is a real pain.
Harry: Things could be worse.
Fred: How?
Harry: He could be twins.

When a girl falls over, why can't her brother help her up?
Because he can't be a brother and assist her (a sister) too.

Why is your brother so small?
He's my half-brother.

'What do you mean you only have one brother?' demanded the judge. 'Your sister has testified under oath that she has two.'

Good morning, Brown, Brown, Brown and Brown?
Yes, madam.
May I speak to Mr Brown, please?
I'm so sorry, Mr Brown is away sick today.
Oh, then may I speak to Mr Brown, please?
Mr Brown is on holiday.
It's very important, may I speak to Mr Brown?
Mr Brown is away from the office on business.
Oh, no! Then I'll have to speak to Mr Brown, it's a matter of life or death!
Mr Brown speaking!

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