Home - B - Bread Jokes

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread.
Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around.

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry sir, the spider in your bread will get it.

Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to instil good table manners in her girls?
She told them that a well brought girl never crumbles her bread or rolls in her soup.

The effect of TV advertising on young viewers can be gauged from this version of part of the Lord's Prayer, as rendered by a small boy: Give us this day our oven fresh, slow baked, vitaminenriched, protein packed, nourishing, delicious, wholemeal daily bread!

They say she has a sharp tongue.
Yes, she can slice bread with it.

Have you heard the story about the loaf of bread?
No.
Oh, crumbs.

Why can't you make bread like my mother?
I would if you could make dough like your father!

What looks just like half a loaf of bread?
Its other half.