Home - B - Blood Jokes

What's a vampire's favorite drink?
A Bloody Mary.

What is small and grey, sucks blood and eats cheese?
A mouse-quito.

Why did the vampire take up acting?
It was in his blood.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Buster.
Buster who?
Buster blood vessel?

What do vampires think of blood transfusions?
New-fang-led nonsense.

Why are vampire families so close?
Because blood is thicker than water.

What's Dracula's car called?
A mobile blood unit.

What do you get if you cross a midget with Dracula?
A vampire that sucks blood from your kneecaps.

What happened when the vampire went to the blood bank?
He asked to make a withdrawal.

Barber: Oops! Sorry, I've just cut your chin.
Vampire: Don't worry, it's not my blood.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Blood.
Blood who?
Blood brothers.

Where do vampires go fishing?
In the blood stream.

Why are vampires artistic?
They're good at drawing blood.

What sort of group do vampires join?
A blood group.

Did you hear about the two blood cells?
They loved in vein.

They say blood is thicker than water.
So what? So's toothpaste.

Two men were having a rest and a cup of tea after giving blood. One was a Sioux Indian, the other a local man. The local stared at the Indian for a while and then plucked up the courage to ask him, 'Is it true you're a full-blooded Indian?'

'I was,' came the reply, 'but now I'm a pint short.'

There are 60,000 miles of blood vessels in the body...
No wonder I have tired blood.